Modern dating styles have evolved and as a social analyst, it has become very complex to understand human intentions and desires. I feel the human theory of mind has been disrupted to some extent. Dating has really taken mismatched trends, people would meet on social media, dating sites or worse through an exchange of materials or money for love and that’s it, they are in love. I have seen marriages that have been formed under such backgrounds and are still surviving to date. The question would remain, do these individuals experience true love, is their conscious happy and free, do they experience the intended joy of marriage, are they okay? Give me your money, I give you Love.
The above questions can be approached at different angles, feel free to answer them as you would want. Let me start a worthwhile conversation from some point. Who is to blame, man, woman or both for the modern out of shape dating trends. A man will get money and use it to seduce a woman for casual encounters. A woman, on the other hand, will only submit when a man is ready to cough some money. Or am I the only one observing? Haha. Its some form of private-juicy batter trade going on and it’s like the society has accepted it fully.
This trend has strained our young generation severely. When you interview a young girl today and ask them what they want from their dream man, all you will hear is money, lots of money, cars, beach house. Are we all going to live in the beach house? Is money true love and peace of mind? That’s why such ladies they get dumped because they are nothing but parasites, they are called Gold diggers I hear, they are lazy they can’t even dig gold, let us just call them parasites. If they can dig gold they would not sleep around in exchange for money and materials. Give me your money, I give you Love.
Most girls would post sexy pictures on their social media profiles. Which is really good because the media is meant for that. The problem comes when these girls start demanding vacations, money and other materials you know them. It’s like they are on this platform marketing themselves, you would ask one for a date and they would ask questions like, do you have a car? Which hotel are we going to? I don’t have blah blah would you buy me? If you complain, no date for you boy. Stay there, find the money first. They have turned their bodies into commodities or products which you have to buy for you to have them.
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If you check on their profiles on dating sites, you will be shocked. One of the profiles read, “Am here looking for any man, you can be old I don’t care, all you need to have is good money, car, and a yacht if possible because my beauty is high maintenance, if you can provide am all yours, jokers aside please, waiting for you to write me, babe”. It’s all business for them, it’s a new way of surviving. Is this process right?
Having a healthy relationship, you both have to bring something on the table. Some would say he is enjoying my body! Seriously? Are you not enjoying too? I don’t want to discuss this today but if we analyze deeply both parties are enjoying. If it’s gaining they both gain, losing, they both lose. For you to be of impact, to matter and be respected you have to bring something on the table, don’t be a parasite, such relationships never last. Even if you have nothing at the beginning, start something or join his projects and do something and don’t accept to be a receiver always.
I believe men are the initiators of all these misfortunes in as much as I would love to blame women. The current species of men, can’t approach a woman head-on and talk things out. So they decided to orchestrate a way of getting them without a sweat. They came up with seduction, using money and material things. For sure this worked for them, look around, most women are ready to let go of their dignity and have access to these men who put them in flashy lifestyles. Relationships with no affections, just an exchange of benefits. You see who brought this problem? Man himself. Give me your money, I give you Love.
This problem has caused havoc among the young and aspiring men. They can’t date because they have money but it is not enough. Their money can’t buy trendy clothes, can’t cater for beachside hotel vacations and private villas with heavenly beds if they ever exist, they don’t even own a fancy car. Young men are lonely, all-girls they want have gone to big daddies. They walk around overwhelmed with dry-spell, they are starving to the brink of death. The very financially stable is enjoying life, they have money thus access to women they want.
What happens to this broke young man? They suffer in pain as they contemplate solutions to their misadventure and this is what they decide. Sample thoughts of a young man, “Okay! I can’t get a woman because I have no money. I can get any woman if I have a lot of money and as much as I want. That’s a good deal for me, let me work hard and get the money, ladies I will be back soon let me get what you want.” This has led young men not to marry because they are busy looking for money. On the other hand, our young ladies are getting married to older men, because that’s the only option they have. Are you ladies in such marriages happy? Anyway, that’s a discussion for another day.
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I think that’s why we have cases of rampant adultery all over. People are not happy, they are trying to find happiness outside marriage, they got married to individuals they are not emotionally compatible. They do this thinking it the norm, that so and so also does this, really? Sadly, parents also support their daughters to get married to very old individuals, just for money. Others are married as second, third, fourth, even fifth wife just to be with a man who is financially stable. Young, energetic, ambitious and good looking men are left in loneliness, waiting to get rich at old age and marry young ladies and the loop continues to iterate. Give me your money, I give you Love.
This habit exists in all levels of life. It transpires among the low, middle and high class of life. For example at the village where there is a challenge of transportation, a man who can provide a solution to this has a higher hand to get a sexual exchange. I have seen personally both unmarried and married women doing this, they will pick a young man who can provide transport and exchange that favor with sexual pleasures. Middle class, the levels of demands change, its either you can pay rent, buy clothes, provide some basic needs, take them out then you qualify to have them and do as you wish. High class have higher demands, like buying a car as a gift, sponsoring vacation trips to five-star hotels in another continent, building a house to them and bingo they are all yours.
I term all this modern prostitution. You may not be outside at night selling yourself but the moment you submit to sexual adventures just because someone did something to you, that qualifies as prostitution. Men have brought unto themselves a huge burden, most men have to really spend a lot of money to enjoy sexual pleasures. I am really sorry for you guys. I will say, being horny is natural, and solving horniness should also be natural and not incur a dime. Don’t be an idiot, be a man and use your masculinity to get one. There is a need for changing the mindset of our generation.
Let’s go back to our traditional ways of dating, where a man would walk confidently to a woman and address their dispositions. When a girl is interested, they accept and that’s a sweet deal, no demands, no expenses. What brings them together is affection, love, desire for each other and not money or material things. It’s very weird to be with someone who does not have any affection towards you and yet you are full of affection towards them, that’s creepy. What if they cut your throat at night?
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Dating has faced evolutionary mismatch which is a societal problem, lucky enough we all have a theory of mind, we are grown-ups. Before you engage in relationships, discern the other party and know their intentions of wanting to be with you. If your intentions do not match and cannot be matched either, walk and never look back. Go find somewhere else, the elders said, “beautiful ones are not yet born” meaning don’t stick on someone whom you are not compatible with yet you can always find one elsewhere.
Give me your money, I give you Love.